Monday, January 11, 2010

why moms get cranky

Why is it that our family's and men stop remembering us as someone to do for once we say I do and have a child? So many mothers forget they are first and forever women. I discovered this at 18 when I had my first child. Suddenly the holidays were now for the kids. Even though I bought my family and husband a gift no one thought to get one for me. Now I know to some that may sound selfish but its true. Even on my birthday no one does anything other than say happy birthday. When did I stop being an unique individual person and become only Mom? I still have my own interest and opinions. Someday my kids will move out. If I only embraced my Role as a mom then what will my role or purpose be when they grow up and leave the nest.I am stepping out of my mommy shell now and learning to have a life and identity separate. I am me. I have many roles in life but they all change and evolve as I gain knowledge and wisdom. My kids will move out just as I did and have lives of their own. My hope is to inspire and teach them that they are individuals who will play many roles but the one constant will be that they are unique unto themselves.I will start reminding my family that I am Me not just a mom or wife. Just because we marry and have kids does not mean you can forget to appreciate me. I still go out of my way to do things for you(favorite meals, getting you something you like just because).Please remember you are still a woman with idea's, interest and feelings outside your current roles. Then don't let anyone try to tell you otherwise. If others don't think to do for you then do it for yourself. Seeing you take care of yourself and maintaining your individual identity my inspire others to remember yours or their own or both.Do not let yourself be lost. You are all you have in the end.

Tuesday, January 5, 2010

Make someday Today

We all get so caught up in the rat race of bigger better and more that we lose sight of what really matters to us. How many people can say they are living their dream. How many people are happy with where they are? Exit the rat race and live for you. Yes we need to make money to survive but lets try to do so without killing our souls in the process. Growing up we all dreamed of what we wanted to be when we grew up. Now we are grown up and who is living the life we dreamed? A lot of us were kinda tossed into life without much knowledge as to how to make a living, handle what money we made, or how to set our priorities. We don't need to try to keep up with anyone's life style but our own chosen life style. Don't put your happiness on hold for someday. Most people give up on being happy and living the life that reflects their true desires and goals early on. Saving for that far off day of retirement when we can live out our dreams. Tomorrow isn't guaranteed for anyone. Wake up from the death of your soul and happiness and start living your life today. Its not how long we are here that matters its what we do while we are here. We all have to die physically someday but how many of us can say we have LIVED ? I challenge anyone who reads this to try living your life and speaking your truth for 1 month and see how you feel. My bet is that you will wonder why you waited so long to start living.

My Goals

TO afford a better House for my family
Get my teeth replaced ( Need dentures)
TO get a good family car
TO someday own a BMW Z4
TO finish and publish my book
TO have a savings account with a balance
To start investing for retirement
To double our family's income or triple
TO pay off our debt

where I am at today

Ok let me start this blog on where I am now. I am 25 years old, I have a GED,& I am self taught mostly. I am married with 3 children. We have been granted the use of a relatives house. My husband is a Disabled Vet and my youngest child is developmentally delayed. We make around 25k a year. The house we live in is Old and has no insulation. All of my windows and doors leak. We do not have Central Heat and Air. The 3 floor heaters we do use have ran my electric bill up to $405.00. We don't have a running vehicle. I walk to do our errands or pay someone to give me a ride.NO one actually took the time to teach me to drive so I only have a permit. There is no drivers Ed in our town. We still have an original walmart here. Yes we are on government programs to help us survive. Now You and I can read that and say poor thing life sucks. I prefer to look on the bright side. What is that? Yes my husband is disabled but since he can no longer go out to work he stays home with the kids so I don't have to pay child care. My education while traditionally lacking is advanced in other area's due to my love of learning and reading. My youngest son is behind developmentally but he is a miracle. He was born 12 weeks premature only 2.6 lbs. The doctors gave him a 50% chance of survival.Then they said he might be blind do to prolonged use of the ventilator as a baby. He only has a lazy eye. He is the same size as his older sister. both of whom are considered small by society standards but we are proud of them. they are 8 months apart and as of Jan 23,2010 they will both be 3 years old wearing 24 month clothing. Their small size doesn't bother them or hold them back. They climb and get into more than I like. My kids are amazing and fighters. My oldest is 7 and is now home schooled. He learns fast and got bored in school during reviews. They wanted to kick him back a grade for Being Emotionally Immature. I asked what they meant by that and was told he wouldn't sit still and shut up. He was on the AB honor roll. We brought him home and he is doing work that is a grade above him.My husbands disability has left it hard for me to hold a traditional job and still do everything needed to take care of my family. I am currently writing a book and just finished writing the lesson plans to 2 classes I plan on teaching. Life lessons( how to budget, clean, shop smart, cook good food cheap) and Remembering You (reclaiming your dreams and the right to love and care for yourself). I am hoping to make enough doing the classes to save up for a better home. As of this moment we have almost $300 after paying our immediate bills to last us the rest of the month.